I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
