I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
