so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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