Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it glows. i had to have it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
