Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
