On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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