i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
