Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
