Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
