I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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