is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
