After last night, I could never be a politician.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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