brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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