It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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