My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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