Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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