We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
