I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
