I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
