Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
there is puke in my bra ... again
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