Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
