I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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