they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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