You can't motorboat a personality
I just threw up on my dentist
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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