We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
