im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
