Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
