Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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