If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I had to cum in my sink.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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