yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You can't motorboat a personality
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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