People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
