I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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