D3 body, D1 cock
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
