he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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