please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
