Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
