sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
