This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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