Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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