i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
