We're facebook friends in real life
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
