But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
