So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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