it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
