I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
