Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
