yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
