Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
