Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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