we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize